Go Scrooge Yourself!

Ah the holidays…..The most wonderful time of the year! Children laughing, people visiting families and sitting down for holiday dinners, relatives coming to feast on the meal that took days to prepare and then leave with a full plate and not so much as an offer to help clean up, the bickering between grown siblings, the drunken fights and a year of resentment pent up waiting to be unleashed at the first opportunity! Why do we put ourselves through the same routine year after year? What is this mess of a tradition that has been handed down to each generation, some kind of payback for a failed previous life? Year after year we are thrown this “Holiday Season” as it is called and made to believe that “it is better to give than to receive”. Better for who? I’ll tell you who……….The Christians and THE RETAIL INDUSTRY!

Flashback 4000 years ago and we’ll find that Pagans were the first to celebrate Saturnalia or the Winter Solstice. They celebrated the return of the sun after a long cold winter. The evergreen was a symbol of life that endured during the harsh winter months so they brought them into their homes. Some hung apples from them to remind them that the spring and summer would eventually return hence the decorating of the tree. The name Christmas would not come for another 2o00 years when Christ was born(if he really was born that is). The exact day of the Christ’s birth has never been pinpointed. Many say that it has been celebrated since 98 AD. In 137 AD the Bishop of Rome ordered the birthday of Christ celebrated as a solemn feast. In 350 AD another Bishop of Rome, Julius I, chose December 25th as the official day of Christmas.

Christians did not believe in the Pagan rituals and traditions so they decided to name it Christmas which translates into Mass of Christ. It is believed by many that Christmas was made up to compete with the Pagan celebrations of winter. By the middle ages the Pagan celebrations were replaced by Christian traditions because it was thought by the church that the Pagan traditions and beliefs were an abomination. So as usual, the Christians once again imposed their beliefs onto the rest of society. Some things just never change do they!?!

So what’s with all this pressure to give, give, give?? Why is it that we spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars every year on people we rarely see and usually bitch about constantly? How is it that we were able to corrupt such a meaningful celebration of the season and of life and of our surroundings into such a chaotic and bogus reason to spend mindlessly by either emptying our pockets or racking up debt only to realize that by the time all is said and done, the only thing we have left to show for the holiday is the longing for everything to slow down for a while and to never see your relatives again (or for at least another year).

According to some, no one was in the habit of giving gifts until the late 1800’s when stories of Santa Claus giving gifts to the children became popular, most likely a story made up by American retailers to boost sales and to start a tradition that would keep them rich for centuries to come. This tradition was taken from, once again, the Pagans that would take to the street during the winter solstice celebrations and bring food and good-luck gifts, usually fruit, to one another for the coming year. Those traditions, in my mind, make much more sense than all of the hoopla that we are forced to endure for at least 4 months out of the year. Retailers have shoved Christmas and most other holidays down our throats and up our asses in an attempt to line their pockets and use our economy as an excuse to justify their actions.

I would have to think that the worst part to this entire Holiday Season is that everything we do echoes down into the future so what legacy are we leaving behind for the next generation. What are we teaching kids by going broke in order to satisfy a child who in no way has earned the right to be lavished with expensive gifts. ”If you are good just before Christmas time then Santa will bring you everything you ask for and afterward you can go back to being the total prick that you are!” How about we stop rewarding them for bad behavior and ONLY reward them when they actually earn it? Why does it have to be one time out of the year? Sorry dumb asses but it seems that your spawn have ultimately won the upper hand and you have only become a game piece in one of the hundreds of games that you spoiled your spunk with!

Okay so I don’t want to make this all about the children because enough of them already think it is! After all it isn’t their fault that they don’t have the proper representation in life to guide them, that’s your own damned fault! Did you really think that raising them would be as easy as making them? Yeah you would think that!

So after all is said and done, I still find myself trying to justify to others why it is that I am not fond of the holiday season. I find myself attempting to defend my thoughts and my beliefs and continue to have to listen to the cries of certain others such as, “but it’s the time of year that you should be with your family” and “you should be tolerant and put all of your feelings aside”. Show me where the fuck this rule book is that dictates to me how I should ignore everything that I am feeling inside simply so that I can sit in a house full of people that quite frankly I either don’t know or just don’t give a rats ass about one way or the other. Tell me not that it’s written in the “good book” and that I missed that chapter during the Sunday school lessons I was forced to attend as a child!

You are probably wondering why I am the way I am and now that I have gotten to this part of this post I can say without a doubt that the firm belief in faith that my mother holds in the church mixed with the uncertainty and stupidity of my fathers ridiculous quest for God, has given me the ability to seek out information and distinguish reality from absurdity. For me, the holidays were forever changed because as a child my parents made their intentions for divorce a reality during that time but make no mistake, they did not ruin my ability to seek out the truth and to celebrate it as I see fit. In fact, my eyes are open much wider because of it.

So the next time you are bouncing around town on Christmas Eve doing last minute holiday shopping for a co-worker that you barely know or for a nephew that is fresh out of detention and you are stressing and counting your last pennies, try and remember where the true meaning of the holiday came from and toss them an apple instead!

My Controversial God

I have never been one for organized religion and I spent the better part of my life trying to figure out who people were praying to when they lit their candles underneath a statue of some divine person that the church deemed worthy of canonization. Since my mid-twenties I have believed that religion was man-made and that it was just a way to control the behaviors of our world’s population. I grew up in a Catholic home, made my first communion and probably would have gone further had my parents not separated but as I found out early on, there is a reason for everything. After they divorced, my father set out on a quest of his own to find his own path. Unfortunately for me, I had the rotten pleasure of enduring the affects of his blind quest.

From the time I was 12 years old I was introduced from one “faith” to the next. Mother had full custody of me and my siblings and I was the youngest and unable to rebel the church as I would have liked while in the custody of my father. The weeks or weekends that I had to spend with my father were usually spent going from one church to the next until he found his “place”. The problem was that each of the places we had visited was more “cult-like” than the one before. Church members would bounce around waving their hands in the air, screaming and crying and talking in “tongues”. C’mon now I was only 12 for crying out loud! What does this kind of shit do to a 12 year old kid who is already dealing with the divorce of his parents??? Absolutely nothing good!

Now I am not saying that these places didn’t have some kind of merit or didn’t offer some potential at spiritual guidance but to a kid it’s just plain CREEPY! Here is the worst part of the entire experience; Every time we settled into a particular church some kind of scandal would unfold. Financial corruption, adultery, sex involving children you name it, we ran into it! So how is it that my father was able to turn a blind eye to it all and continue to slam me upside the head with the bible? I’ll tell you why……Because he is a FOLLOWER!! Not one who subscribes to the teachings or methods of another but rather one that imitates or copies another.

It seems to me that he was so busy looking for a place to fit in that he forgot the bigger picture, the spiritual well-being of his kid! Instead, he listened to anyone that would speak to him and it just so happened that it was the fanatical bible thumping groups that were giving him the attention that he so badly wanted or needed in his life. So once he settled into or should I say completed his re-programming of his non-denominational “faith” as he liked to call it, he decided that he would attempt to impose those same beliefs on me. ”Don’t judge people son that's only for God to do” he would say, but a few minutes later would say something like, “People like that(gamblers, party goers, gay people) are sinners and will go to hell”. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? Way to go dumb ass!! You have officially set your kid on a path to religious and social destruction! OK so you get some of the picture of my religious skepticism so I don’t suppose I have to go on degrading the idiot referred to here on out as the “donor” but I have to admit, any chance at degradation of that man is both cleansing and just plain fun! But lets move forward anyway as this could be a long entry.

On the other side of the spectrum with Catholicism, I am doomed to either hell on earth or hell in the afterlife not to mention that I would have to be at church everyday of the week in order to confess to every sin in my life! The chanting, the kneeling, the standing, the squatting, the shaking of others hands not knowing if they’ve washed after wiping their asses or shaking off in the urinal! FORGET IT! It was the same old boring service week after week only to find out that there was more financial and sexual corruption in the church than there was in all of the world! To me, it was all a big theater production that was financed by the little basket that was passed around toward the end of mass. Who knew that salvation came with an actual price tag??!!

By the time I was 15 years old I had all I could take of God, church and religion and set out on my own journey toward spirituality and religion. Speaking of religion, what does it mean? Well let’s start with this:

Religion: a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature and purpose of the universe especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

Governing the conduct of human affairs???? Sounds quite a bit like what I mentioned earlier; just a way to control the behaviors of our world’s population. You know I probably could have been happy if this definition would have just left that last part out but unfortunately no matter where you look to define religion, the majority explains in one way or another that it is a way of outlining who we should be as humans. Who has the right to tell me who I should be or how I should live? Oh wait, I forgot!! We live in a country where the right tells the left how morally wrong they are and the left tells the right that they only think of themselves and government and then “we the people” get to choose sides and see how much of a hypocrite we all really are! Hmmm, sounds a whole lot like religion to me!

So who is it that we need to be listening to? Who creates this outline or moral code that we are having shoved down our throats? GOD? Who or what is God? Let’s try this:

GOD: The one Supreme Being, the creator and ruler of the universe.

RULER of the universe??? Wait wait wait, so now I have to believe that this “God” as he/she is called is the creator and ruler of the universe and that whomever decided to define this entity is the last and written word? Well thank goodness our founding fathers were smart enough to put into the constitution -the other written word- that we as Americans have the freedom of religion, or so they say. Of course every time I turn on the television I’m subject to any number of politicians preaching morality and submitting the word God into whatever ad or speech that might gain them popularity with the “Bible Thumpers of America” in whatever the poll of the day is! The radio waves are full of extremists that tell us how wrong we are in everything that we do in life only to watch as the skeletons of that same person are making a break for the closet door to inform everyone that they are addicted to pain pills! And then there are those groups that come knocking at my door thinking they can convince me to join their cult! These are the people we are suppose to be following? I would rather chew on glass as it is much more pleasant and is over much quicker!

At 21 I had a calling to explore and seek out the reasons that I was here, to find out why it is that I was spared from a near fatal accident. There were times that I cried out for answers but no one was ever listening. With every passing day life threw another curve ball or constructed a new wall for me to climb just to push me off of. The more that I tried to find my way, the more it seemed that something or someone did not want me to achieve this quest. I, however, decided that I was not going to allow “God” to just sit still and silent while I suffered more everyday in my life. After visiting one church after another, learning about the different faiths and different beliefs I came to the conclusion that every place I had visited pretty much had the same thing to say. The only problem was that very few of them were confident in knowing where we were going after this life, and the ones that were sure, expected that I had to climb a mountain and live out the rest of my life as a monk. I of course, during the car accident, had one of the most profound experiences that gave me some insight as to what was waiting on the other side and would set me on my quest for the reason that I remained in this realm instead of crossing over into the next.

Okay so I’m not here with any answers about God or religion, its just not my cup of chi tea! But I figure that if everyone will be cramming their points of view down my throat or up my ass via text messages or forwarded emails of religious chain letters then perhaps I should get a shot or two of my own in, so listen close because its my turn! Those of you that are easily offended either cover your eyes or piss off because it’s about to get real.

I don’t think any ONE religion has it right and if you think that your beliefs are the path to my salvation then you are definitely out of your mind. I don’t go to church because of the aforementioned reasons and I don’t follow the advice of anyone but rather choose the path that my heart or gut presents to me. I don’t believe that there is a God that sits above the clouds moving us about the earth as if we were pieces on a game board. I believe that we are all made up of energy and that we are all part of a collective in a vast universe made up of that same energy and that when we leave our human bodies we are all reunited with one another in that collective.

Yeah so its theory but it’s the one that works for me and one that I know that I can count on because as soon as I accepted my beliefs in spirituality, life seemed to go pretty easy. Once I learned to feel the vibrations and read the energy around me things started to simply unfold with no effort. I’m still waiting to see that burning bush, aside from the one that just left office, before I make any decision to believe that this God is sitting up there dictating our daily lives. With all that is going on in the world today between war, starvation, the money market, unemployment, global warming and just plain old hate I can’t imagine why this gracious, generous and loving God everyone mentions can just sit by and watch all the suffering. And please spare me any passages that come from a book that was written, revised again and again by MAN because the Book of Revelations is just another way for the government and man to instill fear in the populations of the world.

I realize that no one is perfect and to be honest I don’t think that we can achieve perfection in our human form. Human history shows that we are constantly evolving to adapt to the changes in our lives and in our world. To achieve perfection would mean that we have come to the end of evolution and an end to our growth. If that is the case then I would think that it would be the end of humanity. When all is said and done I can say without a doubt in my being that there is something out there bigger than all of us. This life-force, the energy that we are all made from is more powerful than all of the energy that man can encapsulate. Together, if we all put our heavy hearts and minds to rest and end the hate and the struggle for power, we could ultimately move ourselves to the next level of our existence. If you ask me, I think “God” should be defined as: the composition of every living thing on this planet and in this universe.

Thank You

I know I have neglected this blog ever since one of my posts, Follow the Ripples, took on a life of its own. I never imagined that the mention of something that happened in my past could still be so alive and that recounting the events that led up to them could be so emotional. I go through my life day to day trying not to dwell too much on the past but at the same time not forgetting that it was those events that made me who I am today.

Today was the first day after closing "shop" at home and beginning to close the chapter on one of the most memorable times in my adult life. Over the past year I have had the chance to open my home to the family of clients that I have had the pleasure of servicing(MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER PEOPLE!) For some it's been a few months and for others, a staggering 20 years. This morning I began to de-construct my work area at home and the first thing I noticed is that all YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL HERE!!!! You couldn't even believe the areas of this place in which I found your hair trying to take up permanent residence!! Seriously enough already! HAHA

On the day I decided that I would open my doors to all of you I had some serious reservations about crossing the line from business to well....too personal. Over the year I lost a few of you but I gained a few others to replace those sorry asses!! All in all it wasn't too bad of an experience and now we all have to move forward into new territory and I just want to say that I hope those of you that follow will try to be patient with the transition that's to come. It's gonna be a bit bumpy but with some time and cooperation, I think we might all be able to get through it. For those of you that don't think you will be able to hang, I don't want you to feel pressured into returning because chances are, I'm already tired of you anyway!! LOL Just kidding.....REALLY!

Most of you know the reasons for this change and others well.........probably just aren't paying attention! So here is the chance that maybe you missed the first time around so you can really get what I'm talking about. This way if there is any question as to why I'm only working 3 days a week every 3 weeks, this will answer it all for you.

IM SICK! Is that plain enough for you? LMFAO!(For those of you who don't know abbreviations, acronyms or internet talk it means LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF)

OK OK thats a bit crude but it's the short version for those of you that don't want to deal with mortality and probably won't get past this sentence. For everyone else, here it is.

Over the past year my health as taken a bit of a downward turn. Along with the allergens in this sinkhole pit of a city that keep my body in a state of shock, it also keeps my stress levels HIGH which in turn keeps my blood pressure raised giving a much better chance of having a heart attack. To add to that, the HIV from the very beginning has robbed my body of its ability to produce testosterone. Yes that's right.......NO ERECTIONS FOR ME! BOO ME! LOL Aside from that however is that I can't gain muscle very easily to help combat the weight gain. Also with the lowered testosterone levels comes the risk of other diseases including all sorts of cancers!

I know....pretty fucked up ain't it??? At this point because I don't have insurance and even if I did I think we all know that any kind of disease, chronic or fatal is usually not covered or will find a way not to be covered. GO INSURANCE COMPANIES!!! At any rate, we have reached the end of my treatment unless by some miracle the laws pertaining to "pre-existing conditions" are changed before my condition becomes completely untreatable. If you are like me however and keep up with politics, you will know that even if those laws are changed, in all likely hood they will not take affect until at least the year 2014.

Yeah there are treatment options for me but they are all so aggressive that my body will probably shut down from the increase in all the medications I would have to take in order to keep the existing problems at bay. Well to be honest, I've seen what months or years of those medications can do to a person and the last thing I want to do is to turn into someone that is plagued by issues stemming from the toxins in certain medications. It's not the quality of life that I want or want to be remembered as living.

So here is the bright side!!!! I'm moving to a place that the air cleanses my head and washes away the allergens out of my body. A place where the stresses of life take a back seat and everyone is in "Island time zone". A place where I will most likely be able to be more active and take walks on the beach and ride the bike around the bay. While I'm there I will rest, I will gather my thoughts, I will write in my blog daily if I can and who knows, perhaps one day you will be reading the entire thing in a book when all is said and done! I don't know what the future will look like living at the beach(or close to it anyway) but I do know this and I want everyone else to know this.....I have not given up! I'm simply using a more holistic approach to my treatment instead of completely relying on traditional medicines that to this point have already run their course.

Well there it is in a nut shell.......OK maybe a COCONUT shell!! HAHA

For those of you that are still with me to this point thanks for listening and thanks for understanding. The only thing that I can leave you with at this point is this....

The next time you are at the polls and you are voting on an issue regarding humanity or equality........ think carefully of who and how they will be affected by your vote.

The next time you see someone in the street that is begging for some change....be kind IF YOU CAN and don't judge......... this person may have been a victim of life.

The next time you see someone that is overweight, don't stare in disgust, smile....they may have a major health issue and might just need your friendly smile.

But most important..........IF YOU OR SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU IS SICK AND YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH ME...........STAY HOME!!!

Love and Peace to everyone!

KEEP SAN ANTONIO LAME!

Ah San Antonio.......I just love this city! It has so much to give and is so rich in culture, food and diversity! UH......What is this some kind of Chamber of Commerce Ad??? NO way I don't do free advertising! This city has everything that a growing metropolis has to offer but wait, it also has this......LEADERS THAT ONLY WANT TO GLORIFY THEMSELVES aka SPOTLIGHT HOGS!

Over the past 5 years I have been involved on and off with a planning body in San Antonio and until today, was the co-chair of a group called the People's Caucus. This group is an extension of the San Antonio HIV Health Services Planning Council. It's mission is to gather with individuals that are infected or affected by HIV/AIDS in order to bring information to and from the Planning Council and the infected/affected community, a gateway of sorts to improve services that are funded by the Ryan White CARE Act. The Planning Council works with the Administrative Agency which in this case is The Bexar County Department of Community Investment, to ensure that all of the funding is distributed where it needs to be and to outline the service categories as needed by the infected/affected community.

Here's the problem.......CONFLICTS OF INTEREST! This unfortunately is a problem that will have to be amended at the federal level in regards to quorums and being compliant with federal guidelines. At a local level however, the problem remains that each individual, especially those at either high levels of authority within the Administrative Agency or senior members of the council, LOVE to be in the spotlight!! Unless the decisions that are made have some kind of merit in their own agendas, they continue to to defy progress in any situation! This is something we are all more familiar with as POLITICAL CORRUPTION!

I wish I could say that this is an isolated problem but it is not. This happens EVERYWHERE but most people either look the other way or just don't realize that it's actually happening! It is difficult for me to watch as our leaders, community and city, hold back the progression of growth and modernization. I am not speaking of the growth of the city because anyone that has lived here knows that over the past 10 years this city has exploded in size. What I am speaking about is the ability to keep up with the growth and making San Antonio a competitive modern metropolitan area.

For San Antonio the first consideration in any development??.......Keeping the "charm" of the city and making sure all the buildings that get erected downtown are low to the ground and are some shade of BROWN! (Are we still in the 1960's when there were only primary colors to choose from??) Driving in to San Antonio and seeing the downtown skyline, I'm reminded of the buildings I see in the more lower economic parts of large metro areas such as New York or Los Angeles. FAR FROM CHARMING! Driving into cities like Dallas and Houston is somewhat magical where their beautiful glass buildings and even some structures made of brick, overshadow and obstruct the visibility of eyesores even giving them a little charm.

In San Antonio we have over-developed areas of town that are allowed to further develop before any kind of infrastructure is in place or even considered! Why does this happen? Surely someone has to be held accountable right? Well of course not! City leaders don't give its constituents much information unless its something that people are screaming about in opposition to. Usually they will quietly pass something through to City Council to vote on based on the information gathered by a few members of the community(usually parties that will benefit from the item to be voted on) and before you know it, there's a new shopping center in your backyard and your driveway is the only way to get to it but too bad for you!

Another example, lets close one of the busiest(If not THE busiest) intersections in downtown SA, permanently close a street in order to revitalize a park in front of the courthouse and San Fernando Cathedral that is not wheel chair friendly because of its channels of gravel that you can only hope not to sink your heel into and trip should you be walking through the park as you watch SA's finest homeless bathing in the overpriced fountain systems that were installed as part of the parks $18 million plus project.......WHEW! That was a mouthful.

Why did we need that you ask? Well my own opinion is that someone in the church whispered it into the ear of one of our city officials maybe someone like.....I don't know......the former MAYOR?? I'm sure that he pitched it as "a place where people can all come together in the heart of the city" or something to that effect. More like "hmmm......this could really make me look good with the catholics AND the Hispanics". I hardly think that the people all stood up and in one voice shouted " WE NEED AN EXPENSIVE PARK DOWNTOWN AND BY THE WAY.....WE WANT TO PAY FOR IT TOO"!

I've noticed, while traveling to different cities in Texas that even some of the smaller metropolitan areas such as Austin, Corpus Christi, El Paso and even Lubbock all have one thing in common, they seem to realize that change is necessary in order for their cities to grow and compete with larger modern metropolitan cities. It is visible when you drive through these cities and you see the modernization in street lights and signs and buildings that are being constructed and streets that are being laid. They all seem to be working together within their planning bodies and have the interest of the city and its community and residents as their agenda and not each individual official vying for their place in the spotlight.

Today, sadly, I resigned as the Co-chair of The People's Caucus because of what I feel to be mishandling of issues within the Administrative Agency as well as the lack of support from certain individuals in the development of becoming a more modern instrument in serving the HIV/AIDS community. Unfortunately the agendas of a few came before the needs of the many in the community and made me look at San Antonio as I thought it to be all along, incapable of progressing.

Although there is political corruptness in every city, San Antonio should focus on being a model for proper development and growth for other cities nationwide. City officials or anyone who holds a community service position should remember why they ever began serving the community in the first place! We should take the communities and its residents into consideration before ourselves. Unfortunately the only thing that this current behavior does is.........

KEEP SAN ANTONIO LAME!

Politics as Usual!

There are two things they tell you not to talk about in a professional setting....... RELIGION(we'll get to that down the road) and POLITICS. I usually try to avoid them but there is always someone that wants to shove their views down your throat! Now I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion and I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is when someone wants to express their point of view but not have anything valid to back it up with!!

I watch CNN for the better part of my day and I try to keep up with the daily news locally and nationally. I want to know what the hell is going on in my world so that I'm not clueless when someone asks me who the President is and I have no answer! So in the area of news and politics, I'm pretty well informed.

I have a client named........Lisa. Lisa is an older woman, maybe in her mid fifties. She works in the education field(Have mercy on us all!), has far too much energy than any one person should have and has "GEORGE W BUSH" stamped across her forehead and most likely tattooed on her ass!(yeah I know right??) I have been doing her hair for about 10 years now and over the past two years she has gotten to be a bit of a pill in the arena of politics.

Now I've always had alot of patience when it comes to clients and I guess the older I get, the more sensitive my BULLSHIT-O-METER gets. That is not a good thing when you're average service ticket is $125. But her $110 is costing me $150 in therapy!!

Lisa was in this morning and oh what treat it was for me. Today, the funeral of Ted Kennedy and low and behold as soon as she walked through the door she was already bugging that she wanted to watch it on TV while she was getting her hair done(you're kidding right?). FUN TIMES! While my thoughts go out to all of his family, my thoughts were also going out to me and gearing up for the events to come.

Here's the problem.......Because it is such a high profile event, not to mention highly political, naturally there will be many political figures attending. She may as well as hugged the TV when she saw her lord and savior W SHRUB, but when the camera then focused on President Obama I thought she was going to pull him through the screen give him "fitty whippins" and talk him to death!

This has been going on since before Obama took the Presidency and I have had to endure this over the last year and let me tell you it has not been easy. She of course blames him for all of the problems that he inherited from the last administration and when I ask her why........I never get a straight answer other than whatever she is repeating from something she may have heard on the local news or from the water cooler gatherings at work. OK can I just shoot her yet?

Unfortunately not(give me one more month) but today was the day that I could no longer keep my mouth shut and so I spewed! I was so tired of hearing her dog Obama and health care reform time after time and never giving me a decent reason. She began to tell me at one point that it was because he wants to create "death panels"(again.....something she probably just heard and was repeating). After hearing that I threw my scissors and comb down and forcefully said, "WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE TO YOU?.....REALLY.....WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE TO MAKE YOU HATE HIM SO MUCH??" She tried hard to get a few words in but I was DONE! I was no longer going to listen to the negativity and allow her to contaminate my mood so early in the morning!

I pushed more, "Can you do better than what he is doing?......If you can then maybe you should run for office" I tried hard not to get too passionate about it but I just couldn't help myself and I went further, "Do you have a solution to the health care problem??.......if you do then you should write it down, put it in an envelope and send it to your closest representative. At least he is trying to do something which is more than I can say for the idiot that was in office the last go round!" Now Obama was my personal choice because I was not going to sit through 4 possibly 8 more years of Bush via McCain. I can at least agree with the current administration that "doing something is better than doing nothing".

Ahhhhh! There it was.....all out in the open. I had finally gotten it off my chest and I guess she was stunned that I even said anything because she just sat quietly throughout the rest of her service. When it came time to pay, she handed the money to her husband to pay me and she quietly walked out the door. I had never really opened up to her about my political views and whenever she had brought up politics in the past, I tried very hard to adhere to the rules I was taught and not talk about it. But today, politics ruled! If she thinks that's bad.......

Wait until she hears what I think about GOD and RELIGION!!

WRONG TIME ZONE!

I HATE BEING LATE!! I used to think that most people were the same. I would never keep anyone waiting and I suppose its because I have always worked on a schedule from the day I started in this business. Things happen and I understand that and I guess I could cut people a little slack..........MY ASS!

Ok........let me lay this out for you, If you have an appointment at 10am for a color and you KNOW that you only get 2 hours of my time and then I have another client at 12pm.......YOUR 15 MINUTES OF TARDINESS IS GOING TO THROW MY ENTIRE DAY OFF!! Not to mention you are going to make all of my clients pissy at me and throw their days off as well!

So you say I need to book more time for that client? Are you a total dumb ass??? Why should I give more time simply because you are in some completely different TIME ZONE?? Now I am not going to say that there are not times that I am running a little behind myself, but it usually stems from the dumb ass that did not make their appointment on time!!

Here is probably the worst part of it all.......You walk in and act as if you were on time and then look at me funny when I tell you I don't have time to give you the runway look you will NEVER be able to get even if we could schedule you for cosmetic surgery!!!

Ok, so now that I have jumped off of my soapbox we can get down to business. So let's see......where were we? Ah yes, the last time I wrote I was thanking the neighborhood SLUT for getting me into the business. Speaking of sluts, from an entertainment standpoint my favorite kind of slut, I would have to say, are the married ones. Particularly.....the MEN!

Now I would have to say that in all my years doing hair, this one person in particular, we'll call him DAN, could not ever have taken me by surprise more than he did on this one day. His wife was out of town(in another time zone) on business and would not return for a week. I never felt particularly close to him and there was something about him that just kind of struck me odd but I never gave it much thought.

Dan had an appointment with me for a haircut and he was usually my latest and last appointment on his scheduled day. it just so happened that on this day all of the other stylists were gone for the day. Because my salon was a multi-level space, the entrance being on the bottom floor, I locked the door behind him so that I didn't have to worry about watching the lower-level while I was shampooing and then cutting his hair.

Now, every once in a while........not often but sometimes while shampooing and conditioning a client I will give a nice scalp massage and then leave the conditioner in the hair afterwards for a few minutes while I either clean up from my last client or in this case, start my closing paperwork. I noticed that he had gotten very relaxed while I was washing and conditioning his hair.......so much to the point that he was kind of mumbling and maybe an occasional moan. Not uncommon right?? I was flattered that I could relax someone that much. So, I leave the room and when I come back in he has pulled his pants and undies down to his knees and is jerkin off!!!

I stopped dead in my tracks and tried to be as quiet as I could possibly be and not let him know that I am standing right there. Now keep in mind, I left him laying back in the shampoo chair with his head tilted back in the bowl with a warm towel over his face and the conditioner in his hair. Now I have to be completely honest with you........part of me wanted to just stay and watch, another part wanted me to "reach out and touch someone" and then there was the part of me that just wanted to go to my office and scream out "YOU DOIN' OK IN THERE??" just to see if maybe he would get his pants back up by the time I got back to him. Now at that point in my life I owned the salon and was a single man that didn't get much opportunity at a social life not to mention a sex life, this to me was one hell of an opportunity!

There I was, watching a man whom I rarely spoke with during his appointments and didn't know much about, stroking more than his ego......and seeming to want me to stroke him as well. Then the thoughts of his wife came into my mind and I think, "poor woman has no clue" or did she? Who am I to say that this isn't just the norm for them? Maybe she is the one that set it all up. After all it was she that made all of his appointments! So many things were going through my mind and I had to make a decision on how to handle this awkward yet thrilling situation. My heart races, my mouth begins to dry out and I feel like my feet are just glued to the floor that I am standing on...... all the time he is stroking harder, faster and closer to his climax and just as he was about to explode........someone begins to bang on the front door downstairs!

He nearly jumps out of his chair the towel falls off of his face and there I was standing, frozen.....and I'm sure beet red. There was about 10 seconds that passed (felt like an hour) that our eyes just locked, neither of us knowing what to do or say and then the banging starts again. Finally, my feet moved and I worked my way downstairs to see what all the noise was about........it was the cleaning service........EARLY!....BITCHES!!!

As it turned out, it was not the usual cleaning person and they couldn't find the right key to open the door, so I let them in, went back upstairs and Dan had already zipped it up and was in the same position that I originally left him in with the towel on his face. I didn't say a word about it nor did he. I continued with his usual service(cutting his hair) and got him on his way home. But before he left he did something that I thought to be very unusual and completely out of character for him.........HE MADE HIS NEXT APPOINTMENT and requested to be my last appointment of the day!

Now I bet you are wondering what happened on his next appointment huh? Well let me tell you when it comes to something like this.........

What happens in the cutting chair, STAYS in the cutting chair!!

Introducing the Maestro

We always say that we are like bartenders or therapists, people come in, sit in the chair and start spewing their life stories, problems and deepest secrets and then leave usually feeling better than when they came in. Is it rewarding? Well its about to be more rewarding than I ever thought possible.

I've been doing hair for over 20 years now, yeah I know....thats a long time!! I never thought that when I started in this business that I would make a career out of it......but here I sit ready to share all the blunderful things that this life in cosmetology has brought me. What I didn't think it would give me was the opportunity to sit with you and hopefully make you chuckle, scream, cry and maybe make you wanna go out and kick a few people in the ass!!( I can only hope!..... I can't do it all alone!)

People often ask me what got me into this business and I usually say "I owe it all to the neighborhood SLUT". Sit back for a few and I'll fill you in......oh and by the way, I will be changing all the names in this blog to protect the guilty! But......they'll know who they are!

I was 14 years old and probably the only guy in the neighborhood that wasn't running around trying to get into some girls panties(or some guys undies). I pretty much kept to myself and usually stayed inside watching tv. I was a fat kid so my energy levels were pretty lame and with that comes the pokes and jokes from the other kids so I just avoided it all.

This girl named Mary(I know, how original) came over one day while I was watching tv and started banging on my door looking for her sisters. Usually when she showed up at our place its because she couldn't find them anywhere else. We were the house of last resort so to speak. Usually when the sisters scattered it was most likely because Mary had a date and needed their help doing her hair. Color, perm, cut......whatever the flavor of the week was. She was a real bitch not only to her sisters but to the guys that were courting her. I never understood why she was like that but then again, I never understood much when I was 14. Anyway, I opened the door and there she stood with her ratty hair with roots about 2 or 3 inches long and a box of drug store color asking if I had seen her sisters. I told her no and before I knew it she was sitting inside telling me how I'm going to do her hair because she has a date in a couple of hours. Fun fun, talk about opportunities! I could really get back at this bitch for all the times she called me fat ass! Well she guided me through the application process of the hair color and although it was a bit messy the first go round, It didnt look bad and.........it was fun!

It became a regular "date" for us after that and her sisters no longer had to go into exile every Friday night. Every week it was something different, whether it was color, a perm, a haircut, blow dry, she was very experimental and I just hitched on for the ride. Before I knew it, I was her regular hairstylist. A couple of years after that I dropped out of high school, got my GED and went to cosmetology school, graduated and the rest is history.......and so was she!(Sorry Mary)

I live in Texas.....weeeeeee doggie!! I've worked in some of the best salons across the state. I've worked for Paul Mitchell as an educator. I've done some print work( catologs, magazines, newspapers) as well as some fashion shows and tv shows. I have worked with some local personalities as well as more famous mainstream personalities. I've had the opportunity to work with many gifted hairstylists as well as some who have NO business being in the business and yes........I've told them!(you cunts know who you are!)

I don't profess to be the best but I am far from the worst. I have just about heard it all from many people from all walks of life with all sorts of issues, vices and all kinds of fucked up personalities and for those of you who doubted I would never kiss and tell.........

SUCK ON IT!!! I'M HERE TO CONFESS!